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Fast Five Picks From the GC Experts for NFL Week 14

With the playoff race heating up, it’s time for Dr. Mitch and Rick to keep their cool and help navigate this weekend’s matchups. These two work tirelessly to provide their readers with an inside knowledge of the NFL and to inject some lighthearted fun while doing it! With our guest on COVID protocol, they will be carrying the extra-weight for the upcoming football action!

The NFC and AFC playoff picture are beginning to clear up, with some teams poised for a Super Bowl run, while others are clinging to a Wild Card spot. While most divisions remain competitive in the final weeks, it looks like the NFC North and NFC South division winners could be decided as early as this weekend. As the weather gets colder, the teams now have to dig in as every game becomes a dogfight, and every inch cannot be taken for granted. At this point, the guest would normally be introduced, but unfortunately, they are unable to attend this time due to COVID protocol, which we take quite seriously here. Please, get vaccinated and wear your masks, no one wants to watch football from a hospital bed, or worse, a grave.

DR. MITCHELL POWERS

My picks were an even coin flip last week, but you know what? I’m not too bummed out. Meeting that bear called Paddington was honestly such a delight that I’m just glad he hit on his pick. And who knows, maybe he was on to something, because somehow the Philadelphia Eagles are still somehow in contention for a wildcard spot. Certainly didn’t see that one coming. And if Mr. Paddington Brown can be so accurate on a pick like that, then shoot, we should probably listen to him about a few other things he would have to say about how we treat each other around the holidays. With that out there, I suppose we’re really getting into December here, folks, because ol’ Mitch has got a case of the warm and fuzzies. Rick, what’s on your mind as we get into this week’s picks?

RICK DANGER

Like a kid who got clothes for Christmas, I was disappointed when I found out our guest this week could not partake in our merriment and revelry. We even reached out to our backup, but apparently, he is going to be on ESPN this week and could not be bothered to return our call, YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE DIRTY RANTALLION! Anyway, it gave me time to reflect with only Mitch (he lets me call him that without the doctor part finally) here in the office. We’ve built a formidable camaraderie these past three months and it’s been domestic bliss so far. Sometimes you take for granted the friendships you make along your way, so let this be a lesson my faithful readers, remember those who lift you up, not those who keep you down. Also, just because you find a bottle of Jameson in your desk drawer does not mean you should start drinking it without having your lunch on hand to balance it out. It definitely does not mean you should start working on your article and let every thought in your head make it to the page. Have you ever wondered why everyone thought the Grinch needed to change when he had basically been coerced into believing that he was wrong for being an outcast when they were the ones to make him feel that way? Yeah, me too.

OUR SPECIAL GUEST


RICK’S PICKS

New York Giants @ Los Angeles Chargers – Dec 12th 4:05PM ET

The Giants are trying to cling to an outside chance of sneaking into the playoffs, while the Chargers are nipping at the heels of the Chiefs for AFC West supremacy. The Giants present themselves as two different teams, one that knows how to win games, and one that does not. With a handful of losses by 3 points or less, including the one to Washington that came down to a lone point difference, the Giants could have been the difference in the NFC East race, but I think they may have finally run out of gas. The Chargers need this win, and they will play like it.

PICK: CHARGERS

Dallas Cowboys @ Washington Football Team – Dec 12th 1:00PM ET

How about them Cowboys! Yes, how about them? Of the last 5 games of their season, 4 are against division rivals, and 1 is against NFC powerhouse Arizona. They are leading the NFC East as of now, but the winds of winter, and change, are coming. Washington seems to have their act together, regardless of their lack of an actual team name, and I think they will be poised knock Dallas off their high horse. So, how about them Washingtonians!

PICK: WASHINGTON

New Orleans Saints @ New York Jets – Dec 12th 1:00PM ET

The credit to Zach Wilson is that he held his composure in last week’s loss to the Eagles, as him and the Jets were overwhelmed by redneck Jesus. He is definitely trying to shake off this shamble of a season, but it leaves to wonder if it’s too little too late. Taysom Hill and the Saints are quite the conundrum as I’m not sure if the team that beat the Packers, Bucs, and Pats will show up, or the team that lost to the Falcons and the Panthers will instead. The stakes are low here as both teams do not seem destined for the playoffs, but the Saints are in a slightly better position. Could this be the game that propels the Saints forward? Maybe, but I doubt it will matter in the long run.

PICK: SAINTS

POWERS’ PREDICTIONS

Seattle Seahawks @ Houston Texans – Dec 12th 1:00PM ET

The quality of this year’s Texans is about the same as the quality of their team name, which is to say… what the hell is going on here? They’re the Texans? What kind of name is that for an NFL team? We’re talking about the world capital of space exploration, you could have called them the Houston Space Rangers for all I care, and it would have been a better name. I mean, the Texans have literally only been around since the early aughts. the Dallas Cowboys could have easily picked “Texans” as their name… but they didn’t. You know why? Because it’s a garbage name. It’s just people from Texas. There’s no energy in it. No blast off. No successful stage separation.

Houston, we have a problem.

PICK: SEAHAWKS

Buffalo Bills @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Dec 12th 4:25PM ET

Look, I think we’ve made it pretty clear in the last few weeks that this column is not the place to go if you’re looking for unbiased opinions. Read our disclaimer, folks. Got it? Okay, good, because I’m going to repeat something I said in Week 2: I do not like Tom Brady. Josh Allen should be around in this league for some time to come, and I think the young buck has enough potential to pull a win out this week in Tampa Bay. If he doesn’t, you can all tell me I was wrong, and I’ll tell you that I still don’t like Tom Brady and that it’s a trend that’s headed further downwards. Stop telling me how to feel my feelings.

PICK: BILLS


LAST WEEK 

RICKS PICKS: 1 – 1

POWERS PREDICTIONS: 0 – 2

GUEST GUESS: 1 – 0

OVERALL

RICKS PICKS: 15 – 8

POWERS PREDICTIONS: 13 – 10

GUEST GUESS: 6 – 6

**DISCLAIMER** Like a conservative talkshow, the opinions and views here are a joke.

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