The NFL cogs continue to turn as teams are put to the test and division leaders rise and fall on the gridiron. Our experts continue winning predictions as we roll on to Week 11, with the dreams of playoffs on each coach’s mind! The crew made it out alive as Waldorf and Statler really gave Rick and Mitch the business, from questioning the legitimacy of Mitch’s doctorate to making Rick believe that Disney needed a human Muppet. It’s all in good fun as the picks are in, and they can’t wait to help you have a perfect NFL weekend.
DR. MITCHELL POWERS
Ok, let’s get one thing straight: It doesn’t matter how many non-accredited, online, for-profit universities I had to attend to get it, a doctorate degree is a doctorate degree. Waldorf and Statler may have their, *ahem*… opinions, but if Vince Papale can become a Philadelphia Eagle, then I’ll be damned if someone tells me I’m not a doctor. The worst thing you can run into is someone who isn’t even a doctor but likes to strut around as if he’s got all the credentials of one, when really he’s just a long-haired quarterback from Wisconsin who played his college ball at U.C. Berkeley. No, I’m not off that topic from last week, and it’s my God-given right as an American to die on that hill, incorrect pick be damned.
RICK DANGER
Meeting Waldorf and Statler was the highlight of my life, and then I met them, and I can’t find a desk to hide. Setup, joke, punchline, setup, joke, punchline, and repeat. They torched me and my writing like I was at a roast that I had no idea about. Luckily, they get tired in the afternoon and spent most of the time napping, so there was some respite from the insults. I get it now Fozzy bear, I really get it. Well, it’s time to light the lights and beat the Muppets tonight. Don’t tell them I said that though.
WALDORF & STATLER (OUR SPECIAL GUESTS)
Waldorf: Greetings Readers.
Statler: Readers? You mean people lost on the internet who wandered here?
W: You’re right, I read some of this stuff and I wanted to wander off a cliff.
Together: (laughing maniacally)
S: Well, with Disney’s partnership with Gatecrashers we are, what’s that phrase?
W. Contractually Obligated.
S: That’s right, contractually obligated to deal with Rick and Dr. Mitch.
W: They are quite the odd pair?
S: Odder than the pig and the frog?
W: Odder.
S: Odder than gonzo and the chicken?
W: Nothing’s odder than that.
Together: (laughing maniacally)
S: Guess there’s nothing left to do, but sit down and talk football.
W: Could be worse.
S: Could it?
W: Yeah, the bear could be doing jokes.
S: We’re here, that’s the real joke.
Together: (laughing maniacally)
RICK’S PICKS
Baltimore Ravens @ Chicago Bears – Nov 21st 1:00PM ET
If Lamar Jackson plays, the Ravens bounce back against the Bears. If Lamar Jackson is on the bench, the Bears have a shot in this one. *BING* Sorry, just got another text from Waldorf & Statler, and it reads: “We were going to read some of your earlier work, but we were worried.” That doesn’t make any sense I…*BING* “But, apparently it’s the leading cause of death in the elderly.” THIS IS MY PLACE OF WORK, KNOCK IT OFF OVER THERE!
PICK: RAVENS
Indianapolis Colts @ Buffalo Bills – Nov 21st 1:00PM ET
Wentz is a dad for the second time, so he will ride that energy right into a win. I’d write more, but they are next door listening to what I’m doing, and I’m just trying to get out of *BING* “We really think you are going places in this business Rick.” That actually, that means a lot from these guys, it makes me…*BING* “Yeah, like picking up our DoorDash at the Deli across the street.” Well, they win. I’m going to grab some food, completely unrelated to that last text.
PICK: COLTS
POWERS’ PREDICTIONS
Arizona Cardinals @ Seattle Seahawks – Nov 21st 4:25Pm ET
The Seattle Seahawks quite frankly do not feel like the same contending threat this year that they have been in the past. You are what your record says you are, and I simply don’t think a 3-6 team has what it takes to beat an 8-2 team. Say what you will about “any given Sunday”, but with Kyler Murray likely to return, I don’t see the Seahawks pulling a W out on this one. Although the extended regular season schedule has helped some teams keep their playoff hopes alive, Seattle just doesn’t seem to have what it takes this year. This game should be an easy victory for Arizona… if they play their Cards right.
PICK: CARDINALS
Miami Dolphins @ New York Jets – Nov 21st 1:00PM ET
Here we have it: a battle of two completely mediocre football teams, and that’s being a bit generous. There are essentially two points leading me to my ultimate conclusion on the outcome of this game. The first is that the Dolphins, with their 3 wins and 7 losses, have had a number of lost games which came very close to going the other way. They may be one of the best worst teams in the NFL right now. Make no mistake, they’re still a losing team, but they’re a losing team with aspirations that a couple of coin flips could go the other way in the next few weeks and shift their fortunes, however mildly.
The second point is that the Jets’ starting quarterback on Sunday will be Joe Flacco.
PICK: DOLPHINS
THE GUEST GUESS
New York Giants @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Nov 22nd 8:15PM
Statler: Looks like we are discussing the Giants versus Brady and the Bucs.
Waldorf: I’ve been to a Giants game before.
Statler: I didn’t know you went to one.
Waldorf: Yeah, good game too, they lost by the first quarter!
Together: (laughing maniacally)
Statler: I think Tom Brady has this one in the bag.
Waldorf: What do you think is in the bag?
Statler: A bunch of deflated footballs.
Together: (laughing maniacally)
Waldorf: Well, us and the Giants have something in common.
Statler: Being part of a team?
Waldorf: No, a free flight home from a nightmare.
Together: (laughing maniacally)
PICK: BUCS
LAST WEEK
RICKS PICKS: 1 – 1
POWERS PREDICTIONS: 1 – 1
GUEST GUESS: 0 – 1
OVERALL
RICKS PICKS: 11 – 7
POWERS PREDICTIONS: 10 – 8
GUEST GUESS: 3 – 6
**DISCLAIMER** Like a conservative talkshow, the opinions and views here are a joke.