32 teams begin every season with the same dream, to win the Super Bowl! This Sunday February 13th, after 20 grueling weeks of NFL action, a champion will be crowned. Dr. Mitch and Rick have spent every week guiding you on how each game will play out and this week will be no different. The boys are excited to give you one more week of NFL insight, and there is no better time than on football’s grandest stage.
Los Angeles Rams @ Cincinnati Bengals
Sunday Feb. 13th 6:30PM on NBC.
Don’t be afraid to fail. Failure is a part of life. It’s a part of building character and growing. Without failure, who would you be? I wouldn’t be up here if I hadn’t fallen thousands of times, made mistakes.Nick Foles, MVP of Super Bowl LII
There is nothing I love more than Super Bowl Sunday. It is the closest thing to a religious holiday that I have in my home. From the endless amount of chips and dips, to the wings and pizza, I easily consume a week’s worth of calories in those holy three hours. This day is a gift and I treat it as such every year. Now, does my team necessarily play in it every year? No. Do I still watch? Abso-fucking-lutely. The commercials, the half-time show, the prop bets, I mean, there is fun for the whole family in this game. Well, I do agree that the amount of gambling sites and steady rise of gambling addiction is concerning, but I’ll let someone in a position of authority deal with that. The last sort of power I ever had was being part of a PTA, which I was banned from, due to pounding a Yuengling during the meeting. To be fair, it had run late and I was listening to a game on my AirPods and you don’t NOT celebrate a 60 yard field goal. Anyway, this Sunday will be a special day, and I hope you all enjoy it. Fair warning, it is NOT the best time to air familial grievances, especially when you are watching to see if the team covers the spread and you accidentally told your sister that you think you saw her husband banging the hostess at Golden Coral. The team covered by the way.
ADVERTISING, people. It’s all about advertising. How much will you spend? How many times? How much can they shove it down your throat? (Ahem… “it” being material goods, of course) Welcome to another year of celebrating the capitalist hellscape where we live, in no greater fashion than the SUPER BOWL. You know, sometimes the monopolistic nature we’re trending toward can be fun, like when the porn folder on your Mac automatically syncs to your iPhone in the amount of time it takes you to find a new box of tissues. It happens so magically that you almost forget about all the suffering, the homelessness, or the ever-shrinking wages relative to inflation. But it’s all ok, because every year some commercials during the Super Bowl make us laugh, like that time Nintendo literally “Switched” the momentum of the game at halftime (sorry, Falcons fans) or that Mint Mobile one with the chunky style milk. Well anyway, we’re here to talk about football, right? It’s been a little while… let’s see if we still know how to do this.
WHO DEY? The Cincinnati Bengals are the REAL DEAL. The regular season definitely had its up and downs for the black and orange, but when it came time for the playoffs, the team turned up! It all starts with Joe Shiesty (Burrow) himself at Quarterback. The man led his team through a stingy Raiders defense, a Titans team that was believed to be the best the AFC had to offer, and finally, brought his team back against money Mahomes. Let me also add that nothing brought me more happiness than knowing that Patrick’s brother and wife will be staying home this year to torture the fuck outta him and leave the rest of us alone. Back to Burrow! This man played like an NFL Veteran, who looks as poised as he did when he led LSU to a National Championship. Put your money on this man and this team. Now, the Defense is definitely not an afterthought as they were able to control Mahomes in the AFC Championship, which is way more than the top-rated Bills defense was able to do. Look for this team to go after Stafford early and often. Am I forgetting someone? Oh yeah, their stud kicker, Evan ‘Money Mac’ McPherson. This man walked onto the field after telling his team “I guess we are going to the AFC Championship” and kicked the field goal that beat the Titans. Fast forward one week, and did the same damn thing to the Chiefs. I am LOVING the confidence and swagger this team is showing right now, and that is why, Rick Danger is riding the Bengals Bus to a much deserved win for this team and their city.
SCORE: 34 – 31
MVP: JOE BURROW
COIN TOSS: TAILS
Okay, okay. I’ve gotta play a little Devil’s Advocate on this one. Sure, the Bengals have been doing well. They’ve been doing fantastic, even. But what some may interpret as swagger, I see as cockiness. This team is hot right now, but mark my words, they won’t look so hot in the game this Sunday. On the other hand, you have the L.A. Rams and their head coach, Mr. Ryan Seacrest himself (that’s his name, right?). This is a guy who has made multiple playoff appearances and has also seen the field of a Super Bowl, and lost, and now he’s back with a vengeance. For all intents and purposes, you could say he’s Andy Reid on fast-forward. Seacrest has been learning, and he’s ready to hit his full stride in this game. I feel it in my bones.
Okay, but in all seriousness, I’m really just banking on some sort of parade occurring in L.A if the Rams take the Lombardi. It would be a really great distraction to the local authorities for some stuff I gotta do…
SCORE: 31 – 17
MVP: MATTHEW STAFFORD
COIN TOSS: HEADS
END OF SEASON TALLY
RICKS PICKS: 22 – 11
POWERS PREDICTIONS: 18 – 14
GUEST GUESS: 7 – 9
**DISCLAIMER** Like a conservative talkshow, the opinions and views here are a joke.