Spoilers for DC Comics released 01/18/2022.
Words in italics signify actions.
If you missed last week’s report, check it out here.
The GC52 Logo appears on televisions, computers, and all other types of viewing devices at its normally scheduled time. Lead Anchor Dan McMahon sits at the center of the newsroom behind his desk. He’s decked out in a powder blue sports coat and a bright tie. The setting sun sparkles off the crown jewel of the City of Tomorrow in the background. The GC52 intro music begins to dim as the actual program begins.
Dan: Good Morning, Good Afternoon, and Good Evening to all our wonderful viewers from the docks of Coast City to the furthest reaches of Oa, you are watching the multiverse’s best news show that brings you the news that you need to know! As always, I’m your host, Dan McMahon, doing my part to bring you up to the minute updates on the worlds you live in!
Our top story tonight is of the Wonder Woman problem. More like the Wonder Women issue that’s plaguing Washington DC. There has been footage of hundreds of Wonder Women descending upon the capital as our Wonder Woman, and Deadman, defend against them. Now, it does get weirder. The Shining Knight appeared on the scene to fight Wonder Woman which is unusual for someone who is typically a hero themselves. Wonder Woman even nailed him in the head with her tiara to try to knock some sense into him to no avail.
But it wasn’t long until the Wonder Women showed up and the two turned their fighting on the onslaught of what seem to be glass versions of our hero. Things seem to be under control but I do need to note something. The Shining Knight kept using the phrase M’lady like a fedora-wearing nice guy incel… can’t help to think it’s connected to the noted sleazeball mennist Dr. Psycho in some way.
Dan looks visibly annoyed as a pipe starts to leak in the studio.
Dan: I thought we fixed that! Anyway, now over to-
The pipe falls from the ceiling, soaking Dan and leaving a bottle on his desk with a note inside
Dan: OH NOT AGAIN! How do you keep doing this? WHY do you keep doing this? WE HAVE AN EMAIL YOU CAN USE! Let’s just get this over with…
Dan begins to read the note out loud.
You will not believe this! This “Devil Ray” guy that’s been going around the ocean causing problems for us (and everyone else in the world too, I GUESS). Well, he used to be a Manta Man too! I knew the guy! Can’t remember his name, but he SUCKED. Dude never respected the communal manta-fridge and always stole your lunch. And he never respected the true art that is being a Manta Man either. He never wanted to kill Aquaman! He never cared about defeating the Justice League! He never cared about the most important part of piracy, BOOTY. Like, treasure, I mean. He just kept raving about all this “oppression” and “revolution” stuff.
Always kept going on about how he watched Black Manta when he was a little boy so he went and trained a bunch and knew some fancy “Doctor Fate magic” and so he was better than us. But then he disappeared on a dive and we all thought he was dead! Then the guy shows up after that Doctor Mist dude helps Manta and Torrid get their brains all working good, stabs Gallous with a weird laser “smart trident” and makes a magic portal for him and Manta to make that sick Oricalcum trident we’ve been hearing about. Kinda jealous. I wanted to see the trident. Stupid Ray. He gets a fancy trident he can use to kill everyone in Atlantis, raise it to the surface, and rule it, and what do I get? Fired, because someone keeps finding my diary that I carefully dispose of in the ocean.
Dan stops reading the note as a towel is passed to him from off-screen.
Dan: I hope that’s the end of it, I don’t want to get soaked again. While I dry off we’ll go live to our reporter in Bludhaven, who has the scoop on the first groundbreaking of the Alfred Pennyworth Foundati- Wait, it’s a ferret reporting what am I talking about?
The camera feed cuts to show an overview of the groundbreaking. Next to the camera stands Mr. Tubes the ferret in his mech suit. Floating right by him is Zeb the ghost. Text begins scrolling across the screen as Tubes begins typing his thoughts.
Mr. Tubes: Oh no, someone shot at Mr. Dick Grayson. Now he gone. He good landlord.
Zeb: Look, it’s the Titans! They’re going pow and kaboom all over these doofuses! Also, my dad said all landlords are bastards. And so are rich people.
Tubes: Oh Nightwing and Flash here now good! Wait they go away.
Zeb points to the sky. The Titans minus Nightwing enter into a magic portal.
Zeb: Let’s follow them tubes!
They follow through the portal only to be shot out a short distance away from the Titans. The Titans are inside the office of Roland Desmond while the ferret and ghost are outside the window peeping in to watch them accuse the man, known to the city as Blockbuster, of trying to have Dick Grayson killed.
Zeb: Oh that guy looks mean I bet he did it.
The screen cuts back to a now dry Dan out as the two watch the Titans go back through their portal.
Dan: I got nothing, apparently, a ferret can talk and he’s best friends with a ghost. Sure. Anyway, Rook has an update for us on the latest going-on with Jon Kent, Superman.
The camera cuts to a street corner in Metropolis as Rook begins their report.
Rook: What do you do if you see a hundreds-of-feet-tall deep-sea leviathan begin marching to your city? Well, if you’re Superman, you figure out what set it on that path in the first place. Rocketing to the scene, Jon Kent found the young Aquaman working on the same problem. These creatures don’t come from nowhere – sometimes they come from space, sure, but sometimes they’re even part of the Earth’s ecosystems. So when they tracked its path (pretty easy to do, with footprints that size) they discovered an increasingly-common culprit.
The whole section of ocean floor where the creature had slept, likely for millions of years, was a dead zone. No plant life, no fish, nothing alive. The leviathan had woken up in a panicked response to this. In the blink of an eye relative to the span of its life, the ocean had warmed and miles of oxygen-producing vegetation had died off, leaving it suffocating in its sleep in an oceanic desert grave.
So with the cause identified, the two heroes could come up with a plan. Superman would freeze the seas in front of the leviathan, diverting its path, while Aquaman would change the currents to encourage it to move further out to sea. It was working – until it wasn’t. A uniformed squadron of superhuman soldiers teleported on-scene and began attacking the creature without considering the situation. This “Gamorra corps” just succeeded in making it angry. One of their number, frozen by fear or something else, died.
And as I report this, the situation only continues to get worse and escalate. We can only speculate on the role of Gamorran president Henry Bendix in picking this battle to test out his new metahuman force, but his interference seems clear. And while we can hope that his propagandists and spin doctors stay out of it, past behavior suggests that this fight is just the beginning of something much worse.
The camera cuts back to the GC52 studio, not to Dan, but Lantern Corps reporter Thomas, who is plainly asleep at his desk.
Dan: Is his earpiece on? Thomas… THOMAS!
Thomas spurs awake, speaking in gentle tones as if re-enacting the ending of The Wizard of Oz.
Thomas: Oh, Dan, it’s you. I just had the most wonderful dream.
Dan: You met the deadline?
Thomas: All of that and more, Dan. John Stewart was commanding an army of emerald knights as their lord prefect. He had a giddy little servant named D’shek, and together they took the fight to Esak the mad god.
Dan: Is this your report, or a dream, or perhaps you wandered into Mogo’s hallucinogenic swamp…?
Thomas: And then there was another part of the dream, where Stewart was floating through space charged up like a New God, and he saw several versions of himself and got to choose which one he wanted to become. Do you know what that version was called?
Dan: Editorial edict?
Thomas: It was his “future state,” Dan. His state… in the future…
Thomas begins nodding off. Dan snaps his fingers.
Thomas: Oh! Excuse me. Felt like there was some cosmic rainbow dust in my eyes. What else was there? A giant Oan with a squid eating its head attacked Lantern Mullein and everyone else on Oa. Everyone was in mech suits powered by Mullein’s ring, a galactic coalition with ray guns showed up to help too, then all the Guardians came back too and argued with the giant angry head squid man, and then the Justice League appeared…
Dan: It sounds like a whole lot of everything happened. Is this still a Green Lantern Corps report? You said the Justice League showed up, too? Did they have any lanterns with them?
Thomas: Hmm, just Jordan. Stewart hasn’t come back yet, though he might show up sometime before all these events… or maybe after, I’m not sure how his New God transportation works…
Dan: Okay, it sounds like that dream is running out of gas.
Thomas: Also, Katma Tui might have come back to life? Or was that just the dream?
Dan: Goodnight, Thomas. Please don’t ever report from dreamland again. Unless it’s a Sandman report. Or Swamp Thing. Or Justice League Dark. Or the Sandman with the JSA who uses sleeping gas. Or if the Mad Hatter tries to trap you in a dream but you break out by noticing you can’t read anything.
Thomas begins snoring.
Dan: Our last story tonight is another update from Ethan, who has been covering the ongoing hostage crisis at Arkham Tower. Ethan, any new information?
The camera cuts to Ethan’s apartment in Gotham City, outside the window stands Arkham Tower, lit up by the spotlights of GCPD choppers circling the tower. Ethan steps into frame.
Ethan: Evening Dan. Unfortunately, I don’t have any information regarding the hostage situation currently transpiring in Arkham Tower. What I do have, however, are records obtained from the tower’s security systems by some… acquaintances detailing a break-in attempt less than a week ago.
It seems that Batwoman was caught on the premises of the Tower but evaded the guards and escaped. What she was doing there I can only hazard a guess, but it was probably exactly what I would have done if I possessed a grappling hook and years of combat training; looking for clues as to the validity of Arkham Tower’s claims of helping their patients unlike any before have done.
The records my acquaintance procured for me does not contain much else of interest but I’m hopeful they will come through with some more information soon so that the mysteries of Arkham Tower can be brought into the light. Until then, back to you Dan.
The video feed hangs on the view of Arkham Tower for a few beats after Ethan walks out of frame before cutting back to Dan in the studio.
Dan: Thanks for that update, Ethan. I’m sure my “good friend” Mayor Nakano is paying close attention to this situation and working on a way to rectify it. Hopefully without branding Gotham’s vigilantes as public enemy number one this time. But that’s all we have time for you tonight, so as always; be it the Bat-Symbol in Gotham, a red streak through Central City, or a golden lasso on Themyscira… GC52 has you covered with the news you need to know. ‘Till next week, I’m your host Dan McMahon. Be strong in all your convictions.
Books Covered this Week
- Wonder Woman #783 by Michael W. Conrad, Becky Cloonan, Marcio Takara, Tamra Bonvillain, and Pat Brosseau.
- Black Manta #5 by Chuck Brown, Valentine de Landro, Marissa Louise, and Clayton Cowles.
- Nightwing #88 by Tom Taylor, Bruno Redondo, Adriano Lucas, and AndWorld Design.
- Superman: Son of Kal-El #7 by Tom Taylor, Cian Tormey, Raül Fernández, , Hi-Fi, and Dave Sharpe.
- Green Lantern #10 by Geoffrey Thorne, Chriscross, Juan Castro, Marco Santucci, Mike Atiyeh, and Rob Leigh.
- Detective Comics #1049 by Mariko Tamaki, Ivan Reis, Danny Miki, Brad Anderson, and Ariana Maher.
One reply on “GC52 News: DC Comics Released 01/18/2022”
[…] If you missed last week’s report, check it out here. […]