The Amazing Spider-Man #1000 Isn’t as Monumental as It Should Be

The Amazing Spider-Man #1000 is an issue that doesn’t possess the gravitas a thousandth issue should have. The last milestone, #900, came out 4 years and 2 months ago. Under normal release schedules, we would be at #950, but two issues a month has led us here. A friend of mine once said that Amazing Spider-Man shifting from a monthly schedule to the current one is maybe the worst consequence of Brand New Day, and I’m inclined to agree.

I’m on record saying that I like the first arc of Joe Kelly and Pepe Larraz’s Amazing Spider-Man, and I still do. After that first arc however, it became a very “I read it in passing” book, where I really had nothing to say really. Things happened, I read an issue and I forgot about it immediately after. On the other end, I didn’t like #900 at all. Bobby VV of the site said it’s a disappointing milestone, and I agree.

Within that context, my expectations for The Amazing Spider-Man #1000 were slim, which is genuinely infuriating in a lot of ways – mainly because it’s the thousandth issue of a title starring my favourite superhero of all time. I should be excited, I should want to run to my store and pick up my copy (or in this instance, get the review copy in my inbox), and yet I was left with apathy. There were some creative team announcements for this that got me excited, but the main story that would continue on the pages of The Amazing Spider-Man after did not excite me whatsoever, especially given how predictable the reveal of #1000 turned out to be. 

So how was it, exactly?

Well, I don’t necessarily think something being predictable is bad. Sometimes you lay out the pieces and it all works as the reader is taken on the journey, but even there’s a science to it. There’s a difference between me reading and then slowly going, “Ah, that’s what this is,” and me reading and immediately going “Oh, ok.” The introduction of “Cormac Crane”, May and Ben’s baby they thought they lost and Peter’s cousin, in The Amazing Spider-Man #26 set off warning bells in my head, and lo and behold, he’s the new villain, “RAVAGE”. His deal? He wants May all to himself, and as a result he’s extracted every memory of Peter from her head and turned it into a weapon.

Honestly? In theory there is something interesting there. I quite like how Kelly and Larraz dove into how Peter’s childhood with May and Ben was a little more complicated, and how Peter’s present relationship with May is also rocky because of how flakey he is as Spider-Man. Even the whole fight between Spider-Man and Ravage this issue is around how Peter ‘stole’ a childhood and parents from Cormac, especially how in flashbacks we see May and Ben refer to Peter as their son. And maybe there is some oedipal stuff coming in here from Cormac, who knows?

But I also know The Amazing Spider-Man, as a title. I know that eventually even if I have hope that it will end up not working out. I predict that when the arc ends May will gain her memories back but it will be rocky and Peter’s arc will be to make things right with her. There’s definitely something deeper with Cormac, maybe he’s fake, who can say? But as it stands, I am deeply unmoved narratively, and that’s not something I expect to say about the thousandth issue of The Amazing Spider-Man. 

However, Pepe Larraz and Federico Blee do such a great job at illustrating all of this that I am almost willing to forgive it. There’s so much energy in this from panel one. Some brilliant texture work that brings it together, but most importantly, the page layouts, the way colour is used, it’s all so excellent. It’s comics art so good I am willing to get lost in the flow of what Larraz and Blee are presenting to me.

Maybe that’s okay, but if they want to keep me on board the art will have to continue being this good to cover for a mediocre narrative.

The second story, “Still Standing” by Noah Hawley (Legion, Alien: Earth) and Patrick Gleason, is a really good version of a story we’ve seen so many times now. Peter is in a retirement home, where it seems that he married MJ (who has passed away) and has a son and grandson now. Turns out, “Gwen” is back, and it’s a story about how even though he feels guilty over her death, he still loves her. It is gorgeous, Marcio Menyz and Erick Arciniega colour Gleason beautifully, who brings his all into it as he usually does – and that new Spider-Man design is cool. I just wish it was something new, but a tale that dips into the greatest hits of Spider-Man feels apt for a #1000, I suppose.

“Requiem for a Goblin” by J.M. Dematteis, Humberto Ramos, Victor Olazaba and Edgar Delgado goes back to after the last issue of J.M. Dematteis and Sal Buscema’s monumental run on Spectacular Spider-Man, where Peter and MJ attend Harry’s funeral. Peter’s forced to face his own demons about Harry and the Osborn legacy in this one, and while it’s good, I feel that JMD did all of this work in his original Spectacular run already, and did so in a subtler, neater way. To that end, this just feels like a retread of his work, and hence like the story preceding it in this special, feels like reheating for a greatest hits tale.

Frank Miller and Peach Momoko’s Tears of the Spider-Queen is one of the shining stars of this celebratory issue. Miller and Momoko place Spidey against the Hand, who are looking for a little girl that transforms into the Spider-Queen. Momoko brings in her strong suit of body horror alongside visual storytelling so good that you could strip out almost every bit of narration from this and it would still work spectacularly. I’m quite fond of a sequence in the third page, where Peter’s thought bubbles form into panels of their own. Miller’s narration of course is a plus too. It’s got the dramatic flair I expect from him, and while the lack of Spider-Man monologue might be a problem for some, Momoko’s body language for him is more than enough to really get you in his head without saying a word.

“The Big Night” by Triple H, Rob Fee, Ed McGuiness, Mark Farmer and Matthew Wilson is a short and sweet tale about Ben getting Peter tickets to a wrestling show. Nothing to really write home about, it’s just wholesome.

Brian Michael Bendis, Stuart Immonen and Marte Gracia’s (what a team, holy) “The Gesture” is another of this issue’s shining stars. It sets Peter against some of his C-Lister foes as he misses an invite to his own anniversary of being a hero at Avengers Mansion, with only Steve there to congratulate him for making it this far. It’s sweet, it’s cute, and it’s so beautiful to look at. One of those stories you leave with a smile on your face.

“Of Webs and Six Guns” by Larry Lieber (Stan Lee’s brother), Giuseppe Camuncoli, Klaus Janson and Rachelle Rosenberg is a fun little romp where Peter falls asleep on MJ’s shoulder and gets transported to the wild west. It’s a silly old time, and I love seeing Camuncoli illustrate Spider-Man always.

The Amazing Spider-Man #1000 wraps up with Dan Slott, Marcos Martin and Muntsa Vicente teaming up for “I Can Never Rest”. Going back to the fateful night of Ben’s death, we follow a cop who was tracking down Uncle Ben’s killer too, as he was a suspect in a series of murders. It’s a very somber tone to end a #1000 on, but it is really good and gorgeously illustrated (Slott’s best Spidey stories are with Martin in tow) so it all works for me. 

Overall, I just wish it had some more oomph to it. It’s the thousandth issue of this book, it should have some more glamour, it should be bigger, bolder. It’s not, and that’s what saddens me – even if there are three stories in here that I love.