(Spoilers for DC Comics released 12/07/2021)
(Words in italics signify actions)
If you missed last week’s report, check it out here.
The GC52 Logo appears on televisions, computers, and all other types of viewing devices at its normally scheduled time. Lead Anchor Dan McMahon sits at the center of the newsroom behind his desk after weeks of being on the scene in Gotham City. He’s wearing a blue cardigan pulled over a crisp white shirt and behind him the large window looking out over Metropolis. The Daily Planet globe is visible behind him as the setting sun sparkles off the crown jewel of the City of Tomorrow. The GC52 theme music begins to dim as the actual program begins.
Dan: Good Morning, Good Afternoon, and Good Evening to all our wonderful viewers from the docks of Coast City to the furthest reaches of Oa, you are watching the multiverse’s best news show that brings you the news that you need to know! As always, I’m your host, Dan McMahon, doing my part to bring you up to the minute updates on the worlds you live in!
No updates from Warworld but we are working to stay in the positive here as Gotham celebrates its triumph over Saint, Scarecrow, and all the scares of its fear state. It’s still Gotham though and a costume party was ambushed by Firefly and his goons. Now it was a VILLAIN-themed costume party so not sure how Batman was able to tell the difference but I think when you tango with those killers for so long… you know the real faces of evil. Now let’s check in with Rook out in the city!
The camera cuts to a street corner just outside the GC52 studio as Rook begins reporting on the latest goings-on in the City of Tomorrow.
Rook: After an extended stay in Gamorra reporting on president Henry Bendix’s, um, extracurricular activities, I’m back in Metropolis to cover the narrowly averted catastrophe at the LexCorp building today.
As some of you may know, Lex Luthor was recently granted a full pardon for his activities with the Legion of Doom, the result of an alleged mind-control plot by Gorilla Grodd. Despite spending his entire fortune during his time with the Legion of Doom, he appears to have quickly rebounded into being a billionaire again, through means that would be irresponsible to speculate about. (But probably included blackmail and threats, let’s be real.)
However he achieved it, the LexCorp name was emblazoned on top of the city’s tallest and second most iconic building, following the Daily Planet. In fact, the sign left a massive shadow resting on top of the Planet building, in what we can safely assume to be a slight at Superman’s workplace.
Ironically, it would be Superman who came to Lex Luthor’s rescue today – but not the one he might have expected. With Clark Kent…indisposed, John Kent caught the following sign and saved the dozens of onlookers below. For reasons that are still unclear, a squad of robotic attack drones was immediately on the scene, apparently Luthor’s own reprogrammed security force. That’s got to hurt.
Luthor was ready in his Warsuit, and despite their mutual insistence that this was not a team-up, the two fought off the attackers and began work on a game of chess, of all things. While most cameras weren’t able to follow them up to the top, with GC52’s exclusive extra-dimensional camera access I was able to capture one of the rarest events of our lives: Lex Luthor losing at chess. And losing an argument. At the same time.
I would almost wonder if it’s really Luthor, but his trademark arrogance and sneering overconfidence were too on-brand to be faked. And, frankly, they were the reason he lost the game. This game of chess also had stakes: the loser, Lex, has to remove the offending sign and replace it with one that is not deliberately designed to overshadow the rest of the city. I doubt he’s taking it like a champ, because despite everything he’s capable of, Luthor remains the one in Superman’s shadow. Ouch.
The camera returns to Dan in the studio. Outside, the LexCorp sign can be seen being taken down already.
Dan: We go now to Thomas, with his update on the remaining members of the Green Lantern Corps.
The feed cuts to Thomas once again reporting from a cramped office.
Thomas: Things are looking dire, Dan. These updates are painful!
Dan: Oh no, has another galactic threat bombed the Corps out of their HQ? Are the Manhunters back online and hunting?
Thomas: Huh? No, I mean John Stewart is still persona non grata in terms of news sources. I’ve been stalking his social media feeds and only found a tweet about “None of you can touch me now” and an Evangelion meme about hunting angels. What is he talking about? LinkedIn has been NO help at all in deciphering these! Most of the other lanterns are still off the grid.
However! Jo Mullein was seen crashing, powerless, down to Oa earlier today. It’s okay though, sources say she was merely… let’s see here… blasted with hyperthermal beams, drowned in a glittering ocean, warped through a cubist hellscape, and trapped in a shadow vault on her way here. Sounds like she’ll be fine. Plus, she landed near Simon Baz and a still-recovering Keli Quintela.
Dan: Were there any side effects from the depowering elemental assault?
Thomas: Only wearing a belt with jorts that went out of style in 2010, but that could also be a result of time distortion from all the cosmic travel.
Dan: Even attempting to malign Mullein’s style is journalistic malfeasance and I will not have it. Meanwhile, can the relief forces on Oa give Keli Quintela the help she needs, medical or otherwise?
Thomas: I don’t know if you believe in the healing power of memes, but… her doctor worships The Orb.
Dan: I beg your pardon? I haven’t heard of the orb, extraterrestrial or otherwise.
Thomas: You know! “Pondering the orb,” Lord of the Rings imagery, come on. Even other species worship The Orb!
Dan: You don’t even know what The Orb is!
Thomas: Maybe not, Dan, but they do. And they’re the ones worshipping it.
Dan: Alright, cut the feed, there must be something more clear-cut and less snippy to cover… how about Jordan with the Suicide Squad?
The camera cuts to Jordan sitting in a small room sheepishly glancing around
Jordan: Hello and welcome back, as always I am G52’s resident Task Force X liaison. Recently the Squad has been through some pretty traumatic experiences including escaping from hell and being immediately sent into space. That mission brought them into contact with the Thanagarians and Green Lantern Jo Mullein. Unfortunately, the conflict ended with our Squad captured and thrown into the cells they broke their prisoner out of.
Although I heard that Match and Nocturna resolved some sexual tension and I’m absolutely sure that a romantic relationship on the Squad will not bode well with Waller. The Squad eventually escaped along with another prisoner, the Green Lantern foe known as Black Hand. Who I’m sure can only bring great things for us. The Squad is currently en route back to headquarters with tensions high, it seems the Squad might be starting a revolt in the year future.
The door in the room bursts open and a zombified Weasel dives onto Jordan
Jordan: AHHHHHHH WHAT IS THAT WHAT IS THAT GET IT OFF
A guard rushes through the doorway and tears the zombified creature off of Jordan
Jordan: What was that?!
Guard: Sorry, we’re out testing the cognitive functions of resurrected Squad members. Weasel here got loose.
Jordan: Can’t you keep that psycho on a leash? Isn’t that your job?
Guard: Hey I said I was sorry. Look, I’ll make it up to you. I’ve got some new info for you. Waller has been working on something in secrecy, preparing for something. I’ve heard she’s finally got everything she needs, which means something huge is going down.
Jordan: …oh wow… uh thanks for the scoop.
Guard: No worries, and remember you didn’t hear it from me
The Guard escorts a feral Weasel outside and closes the door
Jordan: Well on that note, I think that about wraps up my time here. As you can tell, tensions are rising here and it seems like it’s soon about to explode. Stay tuned.
The camera returns once more to Dan in the studio.
Dan: In international news, it seems as if Batman Inc is back in the headlines… not for something good though. It seems as if they are all wanted for…murder? That just doesn’t sound right. Word is that Batman himself has been looking into the matter. Only a matter of time till the truth is revealed.
That’s all we have time for tonight, so as always… be it the Bat Symbol in Gotham, a red streak through Central City, or a golden lasso on Themyscira… GC52 has you covered with the news you need to know. Till next week, I’m your host Dan McMahon. Be strong in all your convictions.
Books Covered this Week:
- Batman #118 by Joshua Williamson, Jorge Molina, Mikel Janín, Tomeu Morey, and Clayton Cowles.
- Superman: Son of Kal-El Annual #1 by Tom Taylor, Steve Pugh, Clayton Henry, Romulo Fajardo Jr, Steve Buccellato, and Dave Sharpe.
- Green Lantern #9 by Geoffrey Thorne, Tom Raney, Marco Santucci, Maria Laura Sanapo, Michael Atiyeh, and Rob Leigh.
- Suicide Squad #10 by Robbie Thompson, Eduardo Panisca, Julio Ferreira, Dexter Soy, Marcelo Maiolo, Allen Passalaqua, and Wes Abott.