The GC616 logo flashes across to reveal Reagan seated at the news desk.
Reagan: Hello and welcome to GC616, tonight we start our broadcast with reports of a potential attack by the fear lord Nightmare. With many New Yorkers reporting an unusual amount of nightmares occurring last night, some are pointing to Nightmare as the source. Despite this theory, there is yet to be an explanation beyond coincidence for why so many people had nightmares last night. As well, there is no explanation for why they all stopped at the same time.
Reagan: And now with that out of the way, over to some of our Sinister Scoops!
Sinister: They were beautiful. So, so beautiful. And now they’re just…gone. Gone forever.
That explosion just killed them all. Those stupid Hellions survived, but those beautiful chimeras…gone. I never even got to see Nanny decapitate that awful Sinister making the chimeras behind our backs thanks to those X-men showing up.
The Hellions, broken and defeated in the Healing Gardens, appear on screen.
Sinister: While the Hellions may have surprised, it seems this little group therapy experiment has been shut down thanks to Havok’s latest outburst. The group’s all going their separate ways, Empath is back with his real boss, the White Queen, and Greycrow is out for his blood. Kwannon is seemingly throwing away that fancy new captain’s badge and leaving the island for good. Nanny has left Orphanmaker an orphan once again and her ship has been reclaimed by the Right until she blew it up that is. Wild Child wanders around a lost puppy without an owner. Only Havok is doing ok as his lost love Maddy Pryor, one of Sinisters finest creations, enters the resurrection queue at last. Who would have thought this little band of rejects and broken things could end so badly? Oh yes, everyone.
Reagan: Thank you Mr. Sinister, and now we have a special guest joining us today all the way from the courts of Avalon in Otherworld!
Godwin: Here ye, here ye, people of Earth. After the shocking revelation that Mordred, son of the great King Arthur, was a Witchbreed, the kingdoms of Otherworld prepare for war. Krakoa’s own Witchbreed Captain Britain was spotted in the vampire kingdom of Sevalith attempting to source the truth behind the Sevelith assassin which recently set upon her. Only Death, Witchbreed, Horseman and vampire of Sevalith could help find her answers. Handsome rogue and husband to Rogue, Gambit of Excalibur was also spotted making deals in the Crooked Market and soon met the wrath of Mad Jim Jaspers for making business without permission. Transformed into a feline maidservant, he soon learned the potential wrath of the Crooked Markets master.
Godwin: Jubilee, mother of the great and fearsome Shogo the Dragon, was spending time with the Lady Roma as the Jubilee pondered the fate of her child as the rest of Excalibur roamed the scorched ruins of Dryador. The honourable Judge Saturnyne sat over the trial of the false Captains Britain created by Monarch this week until the wizard Merlin interrupted bringing with him the combined forces of the Hive, the Furies and the armies of King Arthur.
Godwin holds up a small painting of the forces of Arthur Pendragon facing Excalibur
Godwin: Only Excalibur now stands in the way of Merlin and Arthur as the Witchbreed’s fate in Otherworld is decided once and for all.
The Fall acoustic version of the Checkin’ In With Chad plays as the sizzle reel roles. A highlight from this week’s report is something very unique. The footage is shot from a GoPro that is mounted on top of a pumpkin. The camera is facing Chad as he yells out the words “FULL SEND MOON KNIGHT!” before launching the pumpkin into the air. He is wearing a white patterned flannel and so is Moon Knight as he comes into view before the baseball ball hits the pumpkin and obliterates it. When the reel ends, Chad is sitting on the stoop of his NYC apartment.
Chad: What up Chadlians! It’s me, ya boy, Chad! Big news on the Spider-Man front. Well fronts, 2 fronts. The front and the back, up top!
Chad raises his hand as the cameraman leans in to give him a high five.
Chad: Joking aside, there are two Spider-Man, I think. One is the traditional suit and one is this hip off-center spider. They have the same build and stuff so it’s clear it’s not the other Spider-Man with the kick-ass black and red suit or his new suit which is also like a wicked sweatpants thing. Last week, the two Spider-Man fought these d-list villains called the U-Foes. More like these dudes blow. Like literally they blew up large chunks of Empire State University.
Chad started to nod to himself as if he was trying to keep composure as he said the next part.
Chad: One of them basically lets out these toxic fumes that are like radioactive poison or something. I don’t know how bad it is because I am not a doctor but classic Spider-Man went down…hard. I think he must be in a hospital somewhere because. New Spider-Man is out patrolling the city and stuff. Calling them Classic and New is like Classic and New Coke… both delicious and familiar. I just hope classic Spidey is okay. After all the crap he has been through since 2018…I think he deserves some time to rest though and let New Spidey do the work. Until next week, this has been Chad. I’m OUT.
Reagan: Thanks Chad! And with that, we’ve reached the end of our show today, thanks for tuning in, we’ll see you next time.
The GC616 logo flashes across the screen, fading out as the next program begins.