Ranking the Austin Powers Songs Purely on Vibes

Dan is here to do a very serious ranking of the songs featured in the Austin Powers Trilogy!

When it comes to the Austin Powers trilogy, there is perhaps nothing more iconic than the songs in the film or performed in each film. From soulful, instant classics, to groovy dance numbers, to whatever the early 00s were, every Austin Powers song is instantly recognizable. I’m here today to rank them because I took a music theory class and music history in college. Did I do well in either? Who knows!

A couple of points before I get started: these rankings are definitive and cannot be disputed by anyone. You really should read Ethan’s well conceived article about a more well known spy who lacks the mojo that Austin Powers posses. I care about my friend Ethan deeply but I assume that his commute to work every day looks similar to the first video on this list. Anyway, let’s get to it YEAH baby YEAH.

1. Soul Bossa Nova by Quincy Jones

While the song was originally released in 1962, nothing B.A.P. (Before Austin Powers) matters really. This song set the stage for the Austin Powers films. It is the perfect score. Austin Powers could definitely beat James Bond in a fight.

2. Just the Two of Us as performed by Dr. Evil and Mini Me

This is a very sensitive subject. Dr. Evil sings about his insecurities when it comes to legacy which is a running theme through the trilogy. Dr. Evil struggles with the idea that his son Scott doesn’t like him. But Dr. Evil is most well known as the arch nemesis of Austin Powers who definitely could beat up James Bond in a fight. Even if Bond probably has better gadgets and such, Austin has a bigger heart.

3. Daddy Wasn’t There by Ming Tea

In the third film, Goldmember, Austin struggles with the issues revolving his own father played by Sir Michael Caine most well known for his role in Jaws: The Revenge. In this song, Austin reveals that his father missed his circumcision. Even with the tumultuous relationship that Austin has with his father, he could still beat up James Bond. He would probably give him a judo chop while Bond was being creepy to someone.

4. Hard Knock Life as performed by Dr. Evil

In the third film, Austin defeats his long time foe in the start of the film. To rally the other prisoners, Dr. Evil performs his own version of Tony award winning broadway show Annie‘s “Hard Knock Life” similar in spirit and vibes to that of Jay-Z’s version of the song. If Austin Powers and James Bond were both locked away together, I am sure Austin Powers would beat up James Bond in the yard to prove he is the top dog.

I am sure there were more songs in film histories biggest trilogy that is Austin Powers but I don’t remember them. I do remember that James Bond would get a swirly if he ever met Austin Powers who survived being frozen. Not even Walt Disney did that.

Leave a Reply