GateBuster: But I’m a Cheerleader

The next GateBuster review is in as Cass takes a look at But I’m a Cheerleader!

I GUESS, I JUST DON’T TOTALLY GET IT… Ugh, sorry, ok, I don’t know. I mean, I know. I know why Megan was sent there. It was so obvious, right? Like, c’mon. And I really thought it was the best thing for her.

BUT, OK, like, maybe interventions are just like not OK to do to her. Or fair to the squad, really. Like, Megan’s cheer routines were so good, even if she stared at me a lot. Like Bring It On was a wet-dream in comparison to her moves, like, she was the reality, and state champs were only a month away… Um, can I say that? I don’t mean it in like a gay way, just, like, a way, yanno? Look, I just don’t know how or what to say about this ‘cause I don’t wanna be seen other than how I wanna be seen and… Yanno maybe, that’s what Megan felt? Right?

ANYWAYS, ok, sure, as co-captain, I saw some footage of her time spent there. Well, like not footage, but photos, in the moment, so like, I was there for her, in the moment, yanno? And she tried. She really tried.

SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN’T BE HELPED. And, from what I saw at True Directions, she tried to make that wannabe Casper momma happy. She changed those diapers with purple goo and dressed in ALL PINK like a Polly Pocket toy. But, ok, so not the same, but sorta the same… My friend Susie loves strawberry ice-cream. But, sometimes, when you’re rolling a squad deep and getting the sundae boat, no one wants strawberry ice-cream!  And, majority vote rules. That’s just the rules. I think it’s like that, like always wanting strawberry ice-cream and no one ever hearing you, so you get vanilla bean. UGH, vanilla. Who ever wants to be vanilla, yanno?

I love that Megan was never vanilla. Ever. And even like when Graham betrayed her, Megan didn’t back down and kept up being her gay self even if she knew her person, Graham, wasn’t able to do that just yet. She stayed true to WHO she was. ALL ALONE?! And Megan, she’s just not someone to let her cheer sisters know what’s happening. Like, we had to learn from Jared that they still hadn’t done it, yanno? She never even asked if Jared was kissing right. THAT was a red flag. I don’t know how girls kiss, but, I would have tried for Megan. 

AND THE GALL of Graham backing out after going in with Megan, please, girl, you had to know you were getting into emotional V-territory, right?! Right. NO MATTER, our co-captain QUEEN adjusted and found a way to live in a new gay community that loved her for just yanno being her, which was so nice, ‘cause like obviously she deserves nothing else. Or, from what I hear. I haven’t really heard from her, honestly, since I tore out that Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover from her locker. I was just helping her, really. I was!

GRAHAM came back at the end, which is what matters. Our co-captain showed her cheers, and, obviously, Graham found that cool, because cheering is super cool. AM I CRYING? No. What? No. I’m happy for her. I really am. I so am. I am. REALLY. IF THIS WAS A MOVIE, I’D OWN IT… I just want her to text me back.

Cass Clarke.

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