Headlights Review
For many of us, horror is paradoxically comforting. The genre serves as an outlet for processing pain and emotion in a raw yet safe way. What makes horror so unique to other genres is how truly cathartic it can be. But for horror to provide catharsis, you need a writer who understands the genre and trusts their audience to accept the invitation on a gnarly, haunting ride. CJ Leede has proven herself as an author who is always willing to extend that invitation in a bold, impactful way.
Now in her third release, Leede has upped the ante for her readers by taking a more supernatural-thriller approach compared to her past splatterpunk and zombie-esque works.
In her debut novel Maeve Fly, Leede focused on feminine rage and release. Her sophomore novel American Rapture took an emotionally deeper approach by focusing on religious guilt and found family. With Headlights, she offers a space to process one’s own grief alongside the main character, Daniel, who has had more than a lifetime’s worth of tragedy and trauma. It moves a bit slower compared to her past works, but it packs an equally gut-wrenching punch after a gore-filled climax, which might just be becoming her trademark.
Headlights centers around Daniel, a former FBI agent who is pulled back to his home state of Colorado when a cold case of serial killings he worked on mysteriously becomes active again. Daniel left a skeleton of his old life back in Colorado. Just when he thought he was finally moving past his old life and his perceived failures, the Drifter murders pull him back in. But this time, they’ve become more personal, almost to a point of taunting Daniel for what he couldn’t solve the first time around. It quickly becomes clear to Daniel that the only way to finally put this case to rest is to uncover his connection to it. Even if that means revisiting the worst moments of his life. Even if that means pushing himself to believe that maybe there is something more to all of this. I personally feel that Headlights works best when the reader goes in with as little background as possible, so I’ll try to keep the remainder of this review as spoiler-free as possible.
This story pulls you right into the gruesome crime scenes alongside Daniel as he tries to battle his own PTSD and solve what’s haunted him for years. At his core, Daniel is a character who thought running from his grief would solve it. Just ignore it, and it will go away, right? You’ll eventually find a way to live beyond it if you leave it. This is a common tactic, I think everyone has been guilty of trying at least once in their life. Throughout the story, we see Daniel haunted by his past in different manifestations, particularly through music. The fateful day of his mother’s brutal death is underscored by John Denver. Try as he may to avoid music from that day forward, it creeps back into his life. This isn’t the first time Leede has used music as a literary device in her work and I’m certain it won’t be the last – nor should it be. Leede has a talent for using music in a subversive way that offers readers a tether to reality in her works, while twisting it to set the tone of scenes. She takes the familiar sounds of John Denver, Dolly Parton, and other country icons, wrapped in the landscape of Colorado, to provide a sense of comfort, all while your mind and stomach churn over what will happen next. There isn’t a hint of doubt in her writing that what she’s referencing will be misinterpreted or won’t work. While this could be seen as alienating to some, Leede carefully curates the songs she references so they make sense even if you choose not to listen to them. She even crafts playlists tailored to each of her works which can be found on her social media accounts. I don’t consider myself the biggest country fan, but I walked away from this book with such a deeper appreciation for the genre. Her use of music is a clear way to engulf her readers into the atmosphere she’s creating. It feels like taking the techniques of visual horror mediums and applying them to her writing in a style that’s true to herself.
Leede’s use of music and references to Colorado iconography all tie into Daniel’s immense grief throughout the story. Daniel is haunted by glitches of past memories and shadows that have followed him all his life as physical manifestations of this grief. One particular chapter focusing on these glitches has been one of the best scenes in Leede’s works yet. Her writing toggles you between reality, the past, and perhaps something grander? As Daniel loses his grasp on what’s real or what’s a flashback, you begin to wonder if this is more than just PTSD? Leede carefully uses imagery, style, and song lyrics to throw Daniel (and the reader) back and forth between these scenes. At that moment, a character is introduced who will change everything for Daniel.
From this scene onward, the theme of grief mirrors that of protection. How far would you go to protect yourself? How would you fare if you weren’t able to protect the ones you loved? What if the ones you loved stopped protecting you? We meet Daniel at a time when he’s isolated himself from others because he feels he failed to protect not just those close to him, but the victims and families related to the killings. The world around us has a way of pulling us towards what we need even if it isn’t what we wanted or expected. The grief Daniel has tried to protect himself from might be the key to unlocking everything.
With the state of the world, it can be easy to avoid everything. We can turn off the news or close our phones and try to run from, well, everything. Avoidance and ignorance are the quickest ways to cope, but they don’t truly resolve anything. In Headlights, Leede offers horror fans an outlet to dive into the genre as it was intended to be consumed. She offers a beautifully crafted work inspired by country music, cowboys, Colorado, and even Stephen King as a piece of solace for those of us just trying to process the world around us. Yes, horror is dark and harrowing. But it’s also nuanced! It can be surprisingly humorous, exhilarating, and weirdly sometimes horny? Leede understands and blends all of these elements in a gutting way. Reading – even fiction – is meant to teach you and leave you in a better place than where you started. Every time I finish a book by Leede, I leave in a better place and Headlights was no exception to this.
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