Hey, everyone, happy Full Gear! It’s your AEW Dark Dork Review, recapping the Missouri shows of Elevation and Dark!
Starting off from the Independence show we have Elevation here, with Excalibur taking over Tony Schiavone!
Powerhouse Hobbs w/ Hook vs Danny Adams: I love Hobbs. He’s great, but listen: Danny Adams is not only a Tony Schiavone look alike, but he is better known on the Indie circuits as Dan the Dad. He’s wrestling with glasses, wearing short shorts, and wearing what look like white New Balance sneakers. Tony, sign him to perform on every Dark from now until the heat death of the universe. However, uh, he gets the Town Business from Hobbs, and then gets put into a Torture Rack carry for the win.
The Butcher and the Blade vs. Chuck Taylor and Wheeler Yuta: There’s no Matt Hardy here, at least? But we have a new permutation of Best Friends Members vs HFO Members tag action tonight. Excalibur and Paul Wight must on Chuck Taylor’s moniker of the Kentucky Gentleman, starting that he’s not very gentlemanly. We get a very fun tag match here, with the Butcher and the Blade getting some extracurricular violence outside the ring after distracting the ref. Our murderous mercenaries pick up the win over the Best Friends in the end.
Riho vs Tootie Lynn: Riho goes up against local St. Louis talent Tootie Lynn, who is able to take early control of the match with her impressive striking. The former women’s champ is able to rally and get the win with a diving double stomp off the top rope.
Matt Hardy vs Dean Alexander: Dean Alexander becomes a member of the Dark Jobber Five-Timers’ Club! As a reward, Matt Hardy takes a mic and asks him who he is. Alexander gleefully replies he’s Dean Alexander and he’s from Kansas City, to the delight of the crowd. Matt Hardy says that he’s going to make Alexander say his name with reverence, then goes to work. He smacks Alexander’s face into each of the turnbuckles in one of the corners, and while Alexander gets some offense in, Hardy really goes in on the brutality. Alexander is able to land a huge neckbreaker though, and the local crow is rallying, but as he ascends to the top rope, Hardy is able to get back up and he gets the superplex in which sets up the Leech for the win.
Emi Sakura and Nyla Rose w/ Vickie Guerrero, Lulu Pencil, and Mei Suruga vs Ryo Mizunami and Ruby Soho: Mei Suruga is back in AEW! The Killer Queens, Nyla Rose and Emi Sakura, have a real entourage now, and honestly? Good for them. The Mizunami-Soho tag team has, just as much as any other tag team Ryo has in the last month, amazing vibes. Our rocker gals get the win off a back kick from Ruby, but after the match, Nyla drags Ryo from the ring and Lulu and Mei confront Ruby to distract her so Nyla and Mei can beat her up after. However, coming to the rescue is Kris Statlander, Ruby’s next opponent in the TBS tournament!
Dark Order vs 2point0 and the Acclaimed: Hey, it’s all the boys! Our main Elevation event is an 8-man tag! The Acclaimed’s entrance rap this week dunks on the Chiefs’ terrible season and Kansas City barbecue, the latter of which might be the most violence-inducing thing Caster’s ever done. We get a classic chaotic big tag match, with a lot of fun spots here, but it’s John Silver who gets the Fatality, and Dark Order wins!
And we move onto Dark, coming to us from the St. Louis show. Taz promises a win for his team over Dark Over tonight, let’s see if they can deliver! We’ve got fifteen matches for Dark, so we’re going to see if we can blast through these
Dark Order vs Gunn Club: At this point, I’m sure Gunn Club is a torture experiment designed to see how much a gimmick with no real character can win and cause me annoyance when they beat people I love. I’m sure someone loves the Gunn Club. We get a delightful moment in this match, though, where we get a D-Generation X “suck it” from all three Dark Order members before tossing the Gunn Club into each other. However, the Gunn Club steals a victory with a rope-assisted pin. I hate it. Thanks.
Riho vs Heidi Howitzer: Heidi Howitzer has an absolutely great look here as a Mad Max-ish character. This one’s a quick win for Riho with the double-foot stomps.
Too Fast Too Fuego vs Nick Comoroto & Aaron Solo: THE BOYS RETURN. I’m not talking about the Factory here, though they’re fine. Fuego Two is back! Our tag team is now billed as being from “The Sun.” Just the Sun. We get more tattoo discussion, and Taz explains that AEW staff has laser tattoo removal from backstage. Taz has decided that he wants to figure out Fuego Two’s identity, and provides the evidence of his purple socks and mask that this is Pres10 Vance. Fuego Two’s Crossroads move does cause some confusion, but it’s the Tornado Confusion from Fuego One that gets the win.
Sammy Guevara & Jake Hager vs Koko Lane and Luke Langley: Ahead of the Minneapolis Streetfight for Full Gear, two of the Inner Circle go into tag action. The Inner Circle gets the win here off a huge senton atomico, but after the match, the Men of the Year jump the ring to get a little beat down on Hager and Guevara. Only Santana and Ortiz rushing the ring are able to
Best Friends vs Darian Benston, Davey Vega, and Camaro Jackson: The Best Friends go into action against an assortment of new talent, and they get the win here off of the Awful Waffle. After the pin, Davey Vega tries to attack Orange from behind and gets the Orange Punch for karmic retribution.
Dante Martin w/ Lio Rush vs Frankie Kazarian: The high-flying talent of Dante Martin goes against Frankie Kazarian, who seems to have dropped the Elite Hunter moniker. Frankie seems to have the upper hand for a good deal of this match, but Lio Rush interrupts a hold by grabbing Frankie’s boot. Dante’s able to escape then and get the double-jump moonsault for the pin, though Dante seems to be unaware of the assistance.
Thunder Rosa, Ryo Mizunami, and Kris Statlander vs Emi Sakura, Jamie Hayter, and Rebel w/ Lulu Pencil and Mei Suruga: Emi Sakura arrives to the ring with her Queen’s Court, and the Doctor’s assistants make a fun trio’s team of heels. Meanwhile, we’ve got Ryo Mizunami, Thunder Rosa, and our favorite alien in opposition, which is a great trio. We get the fun chaos of trios matches, with Lulu and Mei restraining Thunder Rosa ringside at one point, but she’s able to break free and pin Rebel after the Fire Thunder Driver. After the match, the team of Emi Sakura and Hayter start laying into the winners, but Ruby Soho comes to the rescue with a metal pipe and chases them off! She has a near miss with a swing and nearly hits Statlander, but she’s able to set it aside and backs off.
Matt Sydal & Lee Moriarty vs 2point0: Taz mentions on commentary that he’s beefing with 2point0 presently over bagels, which…tracks. I think 2point0 could feud with someone over what day of the week it was. Matt Sydal also gets a hometown hero’s welcome from the crowd here in St. Louis here. Sydal and Moriarty get the win here, and look good doing it. After the match, Lio Rush and Dante Martin come out, and the two teams have a nice staredown.
Nyla Rose vs Tootie Lynn: Traveling with AEW for the St. Louis show, Tootie Lynn is back! Tootie gets some good strikes in, but she’s no match for the power of Nyla. She has Lynn pinned, but lifts her so she can inflict some more pain with the Guillotine knee drop for the win.
Andrade El Idolo vs WARHORSE: WARHORSE is back! A former challenger for the TNT Championship, he’s here to face Andrade tonight. Andrade has Jose enter the ring initially to distract Warhorse and uses it to get a sneaky blow from behind. He’s able to get the quick win off the Hammerlock. Thanks for coming back, Warhorse.
Dark Order vs Team Taz: 10 and 5 are here to face off against Ricky Starks and Powerhouse Hobbs. On commentary, Taz compares Hobbs to a piece of Flora from Hobbs’ California, the Redwood, and you know? I love that. Mighty, massive, Californian. Team Taz get the win here in an enjoyable tag match.
Tay Conti w/ Anna Jay vs Miranda Gordy: Tay Conti goes against the daughter of the Fabulous Freebrids member Terry Gordy, and- oh, the match is over? Tay wins.
Wardlow w/ Shawn Spears vs Ryan Mantell: Shawn Spears watches from the sideline as his accountabilibuddy Wardlow turns Ryan Mantell into a Casualty of War.
Darby Allin vs QT Marshall: In prep for MJF, Darby’s going against QT Marshall, who comes in and cuts a promo on Sting, shaming him for kicking him on the nuts on Dynamite. He says that he expects MJF to get revenge for him on Darby, but he’s going to make it that MJF can’t even make it to Full Gear. QT here proves that he can always pull a fun match out here as the unofficial end boss of Dark, and we get a rare Dark Coffin Drop for the win!
Matt Hardy, Isiah Kassidy, and the Blade vs Jurassic Express and Christian Cage: We get a rather odd trio from the HFO as Jungle Boy and his two dads get a warm up for the Superkliq. This trios match ends with a fun little spot fest where everyone gets to hit their finishers and Jungle Boy gets the snare trap locked into the Blade.
That’s it from Missouri this week! Next week, we deal with the fallout from Full Gear!