GC52 News (DC Comics Releases for 05/04/2021)

(Spoilers for DC Comics released 05/04/2021)

(Words in italics signal actions)

Missed last week’s News Report? Check it out here.

The GC52 Logo appears on televisions, computers, and all other types of viewing devices at its normally scheduled time. Lead Anchor Dan McMahon sits at the center of the newsroom behind his desk. This week he’s wearing a plain black suitthat’soutlined by the large window behind him looking out over Metropolis. The Daily Planet globe is visible behind him as the setting sun sparkles off the crown jewel of the City of Tomorrow. The GC52 theme music begins to dim as the actual program begins.

Dan: Good Morning, Good Afternoon, and Good Evening to all our wonderful viewers from the docks of Coast City to the furthest reaches of Oa, you are watching the multiverse’s best news show that brings you the news that you need to know! As always, I’m your host, Dan McMahon, doing my part to bring you up to the minute updates on the worlds you live in!

Another week, another press conference for Mayor Nakano to use A-Day to fuel his platform of hatred against vigilantes. This time by doing something good by honoring one of the guards who survived the attack, Sean Mahoney. But as soon as the conference ended Simon Saint was on him like a bird of prey on a scarecrow… as you know by now, I don’t trust those tech billionaires all around the world doing whatever they want in the name of quote-unquote progress. Have you seen the leaks from the Trojan factories where they’re making human-robot hybrids? I’m getting off-topic but what if Saint is whispering in the Mayor’s ear too? What then world?

It’s not as if Gotham doesn’t have enough problems already with the Unsanity Collective running rampant. But, I am picking my words carefully here, they’re only going after the rich and people who haven’t shared their wealth. People who haven’t tried to improve the world around them. Sure they went after different heads of media companies, not us though. I’m going to throw it over to Katie, I’ve worked myself up quite a bit here. 

The camera cuts to Katie in the newsroom. She spins around in a chair dramatically. Today, she sports a bright green blazer over a t-shirt that reads “SAVE THE PLANET” with the words circling an image of the Earth.

Katie: Hello all! I thought I’d add a little flair to this segment today, since most of the news I have for you has some… swampy details. In Central Park, New York, a woman identified as Jennifer Reece was seen conducting a brain scan on an unknown male subject. An eyewitness recognized Jennifer, spotting her after hours in a medical testing room. The MRI machine obscured the patient from view, so his identity remains speculative.

You’re probably wondering why I’m telling you any of this. Sounds like a normal night, right? Well, here’s where the story grows some roots. The eyewitness reported watching green plants grow into existence, consuming both Jennifer and the man behind the glass in the other room. From their vantage point, the witness explained, it was difficult to tell whether they were conducting some sort of garden experiment, or if something supernatural was at play. 

Unfortunately, I can’t disclose any additional details with full confidence. As of right now, no one has been able to contact or locate the duo. It sounds to me like the relationship between those two is exhibiting some toxic, or even poisonous, qualities. Plants, poison, exploding green vines… someone should get a hold of Poison Ivy! Wait, remember that guy… what was his name? Alex? Alec! Alec Holland! Didn’t he have some connection with trees or something? Whatever happened to that dude? I have a sudden urge to go to a plant nursery all the sudden.

Katie drifts off, lost in thought. The camera cuts away as she pulls out her phone to look up the nearest gardening shop.

Dan: Told you there was something weird going on with plants… anyway… let’s check in with Thomas out in the final frontier.

The feed cuts to Thomas standing in a pile of rubble, smoke billowing out of a blown-out structure behind him.

Thomas: Is this thing on? There’s no tech support out here. Really, there’s no anyone out here. This is Thomas reporting from Oa, though it’s largely unrecognizable today in the wake of an unknown catastrophe. Havoc and destruction seem to have wiped out this once-formidable stronghold planet. Have the Green Lanterns’ enemies claimed victory, or is this merely a day that ends in Y?

My last interactions with the Green Lanterns as part of this assignment were press releases and internal documentation regarding a bulletin from Corps leader Stewart, addressing the recent attack on the United Planets summit, including combat with a giant, magical dragon… what? Did anyone fact-check the dragon or is that Gardner clown writing the briefs again? Anyway, they also discussed the possibly related assassination of a Guardian, which was followed by a solemn and glowing funeral. 

Today, I flew down to Oa from the Correspondent-class starship The Cavalcade and couldn’t even find Oa’s signature giant lantern. Maybe everyone jumped tracks to a new planet while I was asleep? Could this be one of those multiversal “events” that keep rewriting history as we know it, and if so, how long before our memories are replaced to fit the new timeline? I hope my per diem still exists in this version of the universe.

Thomas pulls out his phone and is visibly shocked.

Thomas: Oh, I see now! According to this update, it looks like Corps Leader Stewart has accepted a new assignment captaining a vessel with a thousand other lanterns to the “dark sectors” of the universe, beyond known space. That’s great. Just wonderful. I have no idea how to follow this story now. Hold on, there’s another update… one-third of the Green Lantern Corps has been reassigned from their usual sectors, to be replaced by United Planets authority and reassigned to provisional duties as requested by individual planets? Wow. So a thousand lanterns leave for parts unknown, a third of them are taken off their beats, and I guess some remainder either abandoned Oa or bombed it from orbit before quitting? See, this is why GC52 should’ve accepted that op-ed from B’dg about unionizing the Greens. 

Thomas puts his phone away, looks into the camera.

Thomas: Oh, right. Well, it looks like nobody is coming to save the remains of Oa, save for whatever can be recovered by Mogo’s gravitational pull. One can only hope that — oh, what’s that now? Did the camera pick that up?

A streak of green light touches down nearby.

Thomas: Someone’s here! It appears that the secret lantern, Sojourner “Jo” Mullein, has returned from her time in the Far Sector and come across Keli Quintela and a, *ahem* grievously wounded Simon Baz.

We will continue reporting on this tragic story as it develops and try to catch up to the Dark Sector and any remaining or alternative Green Lanterns who have not died or perhaps violently resigned. As a wise Lantern once said, every nut has the potential to become a tree. Back to you, Dan.

After a slight delay, accounting for the vast distance it takes the footage from Oa to stream back to Earth, the camera returns to Dan

Dan: Thank you Thomas… what was that Jerry, someone’s in the studio? Is it Violet? No?

The door of the studio thumps open and in bustles Justin Partridge III. He’s dressed in a slightly crispy-at-the-edges grey suit and brandishing a cartoonish-looking assault rifle that glows slightly blue, ammo belt, and a sloshing potion-like substance in a fishbowl around his waist. He also sports a black eye and a slight trickle of blood in one nostril. 

He clatters his weapon down on the desk and takes his seat, pulling a sheaf of burned pages out of his suit coat. He straightens his tie and it tears away easily, taking away what remains of his shirt’s collar. He checks the cameras.

JPIII: Cam 1… Cam 2. Thanks, Oswin… *ahem* Greetings, fellow citizens! I’m Justin Partridge III, filling in for Ethan who is… somewhere.

Apologies for my dramatic entrance. I am here on loan from The Gotham Gazette, but before I could catch a train to the studio I was… sucked into a giant energy aperture that blossomed in the middle of Gotham and then placed me into a constantly churning cycle of escalating violence in which I was forced to compete against monsters and lunatics, all of whom keep dancing robotically while screaming about tomatoes and camping.

It’s a nightmare from which I cannot wake! HA HAA, I’ve been killed SO many times! But at least Batman, Catwoman, and Harley Quinn are there too! Holding the line against the hordes of unbound-by-social norms pre-teenagers and attempting to get to the bottom of the how and why of the game’s “fun” mechanics.

That’s right, citizens, while everyday Joes, Janes, and gender resisters live, die, and repeat, The Batman and his allies do the same! This elevates the issue above just its marquee delights and provides the “boots on the ground” a dark light in which to rally behind. Celebrities! They are just like us!

That’s right, citizens, while everyday Joes, Janes, and gender resisters live, die, and repeat, The Batman and his allies do the same! This elevates the issue above just its marquee delights and provides the “boots on the ground” a dark light in which to rally behind. Celebrities! They are just like us!

At least I assume it was valiant. Unfortunately, I then took about a dozen sniper rifle rounds to the face and chest, tossing me from our shared reality into a “Respawn lobby” which then tormented me with a “ticking clock” for the next few hours/days/months through the latter half of the “game”, providing the action a creaking dread, when I could focus on it whilst dodging cartoon bullets and poorly driven vehicles. 

Better still, even seemingly without his memories, The Batman seems like “our” Bat! I was worried that the metaphysical horror of the cycle of killing and returning would fracture the hero’s mind. Or, even worse, throw him into the sort of violent mania one experiences beyond the Zero Point. But thankfully, The Batman is leaving the gunplay and volatile explosives to us (and Harley who did a floss at one point)! And no, I am NOT joking. And further-

PING PING PING! Justin checks his watch. The Storm Eye is Shrinking! He gathers his rifle, checks the ammo clip, and smashes the fishbowl around him, covering the desk, himself, and backdrop with oddly soothing blue slime. He gives a tired smile to the camera, bringing the rifle to his shoulder.

JPIII: Until next time. Eyes up, citizens. Dan?

He disappears in a puff of legally permissible smoke.

Dan: Well, that was something. That’s all we have for you today, so as always… be it the Bat Symbol in Gotham, a red streak through Central City, or a golden lasso on Themyscira… GC52 has you covered with the news you need to know. Till next week, I’m your host Dan McMahon. Be strong in all your convictions.

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Books covered this week:

• Batman #108 by James Tynion IV, Jorge Jimenez, Tomeu Morey, and Clayton Cowles.
• The Swamp Thing #3 by Ram V, Mike Perkins, Mike Spicer, and Aditya Bidikar.
• Green Lantern #2 by Geoffrey Thorne, Dexter Soy, Marco Santucci, Alex Sinclair, and Rob Leigh.
• Batman/Fortnite: Zero Point #2 by Christos Gage, Donald Mustard, Reilly Brown, Nelson Faro DeCastro, John Kalisz, and AndWorld Design.

Thanks to this week’s contributors Dan, Katie, Thomas, and Justin. We’ll see you next week.